Step-Monster
by ivy-snakebite
Summary: Dr Guy Self's youngest daughter has had major heart surgery, and Zosia is pretending she doesn't care. The girl turns to nurse Marie-Claire "MC" Carter for support, and her possible future step mother Jac Naylor. Will Jac be able to cope with a teenage step daughter or will she turn into a step monster?
1. Chapter 1

I finally put my 3DS down after about 3 hours of playing super smash bros. That game is so addictive. I stretched out my hands and put the 3DS on the little table thing that is over your bed in hospitals. It was a get well present off my dad, and a bit of a sweetener. I get bored when I'm stuck around in hospital, and when I'm bored I wander.

I had had an operation on my heart, it wasn't too major but as with any open heart surgery I had to stay in, to make sure everything was okay. I had spent 3 days on ITU, and should still be there now, but I was moved to Keller. I'm guessing so my sister could keep an eye on me, but she hadn't been doing a lot of that in the last day and a half.

My older sister is Zosia March. She has had a few issues recently, but I feel like I don't exist around her anymore. I know I can't expect her to constantly run around me, she has other patients to see, but I have just had major surgery and she hasn't given me a second look, unless treating me as a patient. She is an amazing doctor, and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize her career, but I really need my sister right now, not a doctor. She was always such a loving big sister, but she's changed. I wish she would just come and cuddle with me for five minutes.

I looked to the side of me and pulled a face. I was in the end bed, furthest away from the nurses station. I have to admit, I did like the fact that at night it was quiet, and there was no constant rustling and beeping like there was on ITU. But there's only so much you can tolerate before you start to go insane. I had to be careful, and I knew I had to be careful when I got up and moved around because I didn't want to put strain on my heart or the stitches but I refused to be in a wheelchair so I just had to do things very slowly.

One of the perks of your sister working in a hospital, is that you get access to the staff room. I exercised that perk a lot. That means peace and quiet, nice food (if I ever ate), access to plugs, a proper tv, comfy seats...a fridge which means chilled pop! Do I need to go on? I had my own pyjamas on, which made it more comfortable for me to walk around, although I still lived wrapping myself up in Zosia's dressing gown, because at night I could breathe in her smell and pretend she was hugging me.

I slumped down on the chair in the staff room and flicked through the channels. Nothing on apart from day time telly, which is always a bunch of rubbish. I picked up my phone which I had left on charge in the staff room. I had a message.

"Hope you are feeling better, if you fancy popping down today to see me I could do with a chat, love Marie-Claire"

I had nothing better to do, so I set off to go and visit Marie-Claire, or as the boys call her, "M-C".

I wandered onto AAU, it was unusually quiet. I knew it wouldn't be like this for long, it never is. I had come at a good time. Marie-Claire was Sat behind the desk, playing some game on Facebook.

"Hey dude!" I said, coming up behind her.

"Hello sweetheart, how are you doing?" She replied, turning to me. I loved her Irish accent, I could listen to it all day.

"I've just had my chest cut open, things pulled out and shoved back in and then stitched up with some wire and staples, so you how do you think I'm doing?" I retorted. I didn't like people fussing, she knew that I wasn't being deliberately rude.

"Ssh you, come here." She smiled, standing up and gently embracing me in a hug.

"Hugging our patients now are we?" Fletch said as he came up next to us, but on the other side of the desk.

"No, just the ones who deserve VIP treatment" Marie-Claire replied, keeping her arm around me.

I gently leaned against her, I'd been stood up for quite a while, but I wasn't at deaths door yet. She gently rubbed my shoulder in support. Fletch knew what we had in mind, because we didn't need to ask.

"Marie-Claire you're due a break. Take as long as you need." Fletch smiled. I smiled back. So did Marie-Claire.

"Oh, and be careful with Mr Self's daughter, if anything happens to her its your neck on the line" Fletch reminded her. As if she needed reminding. One of the downsides of my daddy being the CEO of the hospital is that everyone either treats me like a 5 year old who is going to get injured every 30 seconds or like radioactive material that's to dangerous to go anywhere near. To be perfectly honest with you, it's annoying. If I was going to grass on you to my dad for doing something wrong, I'd at least make it something decent, not knocking of a trolley or spilling a drink!

That's one thing that made me like Marie-Claire so much, the fact that she really couldn't care less who my dad is, and just treats me like a normal teenager.

I linked my arm into Marie-Claire's and slowly wandered down to the cafe. Almost as soon as we sat down at the table, Marie-Claire's phone rang. It was Zosia.

"Hey, have you seen my sister?" I heard Zosia say down the phone. She sounded surprisingly panicked for someone who showed no signs of caring whatsoever.

Marie-Claire raised her eyebrows at me from across the table. I looked away awkwardly.

"Woah, Zosh, calm down. She's here with me in the cafe, were getting some food, then ill escort her back up to Keller, she's okay, just bored." Marie-Claire replied, sounding slightly surprised.

"Okay, thank you." Zosia replied, sounding less panicked.

"Can you ask her not to wander off again please? I've had enough of having to send out a search party every time shefeels the need to stretch her legs." Zosia added.

"Ill pass on the message, we'll have a chat later? Feels like it's been ages since we had a proper chat." Marie-Claire replied.

"Thank you! Yes, ill see you in a bit then!" Zosia said, and hung up the phone.

I was sat there looking increasingly guilty, and the look on Marie-Claire's face wasn't making me feel any better.

"Care to explain what that was about madam?" Marie-Claire asked, referring to the fact I'd left without speaking to Zosia.

I frowned down at the table and said nothing.

"Hey, I'm not mad, I just want to know that everything is okay" She said placing her arms on the table and cupping my hands in hers.

"She doesn't care about me. She's made that one quite obvious." I said, not making eye contact with Marie-Claire.

"Zosia?" She asked.

I nodded.

"You know she loves you. She's just had some issues recently. I know it doesn't excuse anything, but I know she loves you. You don't see the way she talks about you when your not around." Marie-Claire told me.

I just raised my eyebrows and grunted.

"Mmm" I replied.

At that moment, Jac appeared at our table. She did my operation, and she's sleeping with my daddy whether she wants to admit it or not, so she might end up being my new step mum. I don't think she's quite ready to take the full force of a teenage daughter just yet, not to mention Zosia...

"Hey, how's the chest?" Jac asked me, she was always nice to me, even when I was mean to her, but deep down, I really did like her.

"Sore." I muttered.

"To be expected." Jac smiled back, I didn't return the smile, I just sighed.

"Are you okay?" She asked me.

"Fine." I replied distantly.

"I'm still getting used to teenage speak, but I'm pretty sure that translates as I'm not fine, go away." Jac said raising her eyebrows. I had to give her points for persistence.

"Mmmm" I muttered.

"Am I alright to join you?" Jac asked Marie-Claire.

"Yeah. Take a seat." Marie-Claire smiled.

I shuffled up and Jac sat herself down next to me.

"So what's up?" Jac asked again.

"Sister issues." I replied.

"I know all about that. Believe me." She replied.

I looked at her, that sounded more than the usual fighting.

"I miss my mum too..." I said, sadly.

"That I can emphasize with. Mine's a cow." Jac muttered.

I raised my eyebrows and smiled slightly. She did make me smile quite often.

"Can I please be moved onto Darwin?" I begged Jac.

"You know you can't pick and choose where you are." Jac replied.

"Daddy can pick and choose for me." I said. I'd won and she knew it.

"If Nurse Carter can take you up to Darwin, ill ring ahead and let them know you're coming." Jac sighed, giving into me.

"Oh, and Jac..." I started, emphasizing her name.

"you know you love me..." I trailed off, she knew what I wanted.

Jac looked at me strangely for a second before unclipping her ID tag from around her waist and handing it to me. Attached to it where the keys to her office.

"You leave any bodily fluids, blood or puke, ANYTHING in my office, those stitches are coming out without anaesthetic, do you hear me?" Jac said seriously, but handing over her keys.

"You're a legend! I love you Jac." I said wrapping my arms around her and hugging her. She smiled.

"Best be getting a move on then if you want that bed." Jac said, Marie-Claire agreed.

Marie-Claire walked me up to Darwin and explained to Dr. Afanga that I was having a bed. I let myself into Jac's office and Sat in her swivel chair at her desk. Marie-Claire said goodbye, she was going to fetch my stuff and then had to get back to work. 


	2. Chapter 2

I must have fallen asleep in Jac's chair, because the next thing I knew Jac was bursting through the door, rather noisily, with all 3 bags of my stuff from Keller. Talk about making an entrance! I was nicely asleep in the chair, and I'm never asleep.

"mmm...what?" I mumbled raising my head. Jac said something but I'm not quite sure what it was.

"mmm" I muttered, rubbing my eyes. I am so bad when I've just woken up, but clearly I needed the nap.

"Hey, sleepy head." Jac smiled. She put my stuff down on the sofa opposite her desk and came and stood in front of me.

"Your chair is so comfy!" I yawned, stretching and then slouching in her chair. It really was a very comfy chair.

"How long have you been gone?" I asked. I wanted to check how long, because I know if I sleep to long during the day or too close too my bed time I won't sleep over night.

"45 minutes ish" Jac replied. I nodded, I'd had a fair nap then, but it shouldn't interfere with my sleep schedule.

"But I thought Marie-Claire..." I added, coming to my senses. I was a little confused. I swear Marie-Claire said she was going to bring my stuff.

"I bumped into her in the stair well and offered to bring it up for her, but I asked her to drop by after her shift." Jac smiled. She knew how to keep me sweet, even if I did catch her snogging my daddy!

"Thank you!" I replied.

"I also asked Zosia to drop by..." Jac added.

As soon as she saw my expression she knew she had made a mistake. In my eyes anyway, and that is how I wanted her to feel.

I glared at her.

To be fair to her, she was making an effort with both of us, even if her and Zosia only had about 8 or 9 years between them, we could both potentially end up with Jac as our step mum. I suppose daddy could have chosen worse, but I don't know if I want a step mum, and it will just make Zosia resent dad more. Those 2 when they get into a fight, its a life changing experience when they properly go at it. I'm surprised daddy hasn't had a heart attack because of all the stress Zosia has caused over the last few years. I still remember what Zosia was like when she found out about daddy and Aunty Colette. I wonder if she will let me call her mum? its unlikely, and its unlikely to happen anyway, but our mother died before I could remember, I know it upsets Zoisa that I cant remember Ma, but I was a baby. Zosia practically raised me to be fair to her, and in all fairness to Jac, she was trying her best, but you can try to hard sometimes, as long as she doesn't turn into crazy ice queen Jac if she ends up as our step mum because I have been on the end of that and it is genuinely terrifying.

"Don't get me wrong, I love my sister, but if she can't bat an eyelid when I have life saving surgery, I don't really want to see her at the moment." I muttered, scowling.

Jac raised her eyebrows but nodded, she understood what it was like to have family issues. The government should use her as their poster campaign for kids raised in foster care, because someone along the line did something right with Jac. I know what I want to be when I grow up. When I grow up, I want to be Jac Naylor.

I stood up and walked around Jac's desk and stood infront of her. I liked to think we were close, and I hoped she thought the same thing. I loved her hair, and I loved playing with it. She very occasionally sit on the floor in front of me in her office, and let me sit on the sofa and play with it while she did all her paperwork. Zosia didn't know how close me and Jac where, I know she doesn't like Jac, and I don't want her to find put about me and Jac anytime soon because I have been pretending I hate her in front of Zosia since forever, and I don't want my sister to feel betrayed or disowned.

"You're on the mend now, you do trust me enough to come to me if you have a problem?" Jac asked, I did. She knew I did, but she knew that my sister would always be the first person I go to, and she would never replace Ma. Zosia made that one perfectly clear when her and Jac had their last altercation.

"...yes..." I replied. It was a strange question, and not one you have with a teenage girl, how else could I respond?

Jac put her arm around me, and I let her hug me. She kissed my forehead and ruffled my hair a little. It made me giggle a little.

"Are you feeling alright? You do look a bit flushed." Jac asked, studying my face.

"Yep..fine!" I lied, my chest was hurting, and I felt really hot. I'd be fine.

"You're burning up." Jac said. The disadvantage of her being one of the world's leading surgeons was the fact that I couldn't fake being ill to get out of anything, but I couldn't hide anything either. That was also the thing with my dad and my sister. It was a nightmare growing up and having to do PE at school.

"I'm going to give you some ibuprofen, it'll bring your temperature down, and make you more comfortable." Jac told me.

"Fine." I agreed. I hated taking tablets, but I'd had to get used to it recently because of my heart.

"Come on then you, before someone else decides to need medical attention and steals that bed with your name on." Jac smiled. I was happier being up on Darwin, because it meant if anything went wrong, I was in the right place.

Jac picked up my bags and I took my teddy out of the one of them. It was toothless from how to train your dragon from build a bear. I know Zosia tried so hard to get it for me for Christmas because she knew how much I wanted him, and she managed to get him for me.

We walked out onto the ward together, Jac was walking with my stuff over her left shoulder and I was linked on her right arm.

"Sleepover time is it?" Ms Afanga commented as we walked past the doctors station. I could see her point. I was in a onezie and cuddling a teddy and Jac had the bags. I hated hospitals, and everyone always tried to make it feel less like an institution for kids.

"Nope, unfortunately. Nice to have someone to carry the bags though." I smiled, I saw Jac raise her eyebrows, cheekily, behind me.

I also caught sight of a few of the junior members of staff who had heard my comment. They didn't know who I was. They had been shocked into silence, waiting for Jac to have a go at me. I heard the staff fall silent as I walked past, as if to say 'who is this girl, who dares cheek Jac Naylor'.

"More like musical wards at the moment for this one." Jac smiled, completely fakely at Ms Afanga.

Jac showed me to my bed. I was on the main ward, in the bed facing the nurses station so I could be kept an eye on. Jac said goodbye for now, and said she'd come back later with cake. So I was happy with that.

I took my ibuprofen, which was slightly stronger than the stuff you can get over the counter, so it kicked in pretty quickly.

So again, I was left on my own, playing on my 3DS. That's quite normal for me.

Half an hour or so later, Daddy came to check on me.

"Hello darling." Daddy said coming and sitting on my bed and hugging me.

"Hi daddy." I replied, hugging him back.

"I'd have come earlier and you know I would have if I could but works been manic." Daddy explained. I understood his work was very important.

"I hear you and Jac have been bonding today." Daddy smiled at me. News travels fast around here.

"Well she knows me inside out, she had my chest open on the operating theatre 3 days ago." I smiled. Daddy smiled, he loved my naive sense of humor.

We chatted for a few minutes, about nothing important. I kept checking behind daddy, and I realized I was waiting for Zosia to come. I don't know why, but I wanted her.

"Did Zosia mention if she was coming to see me?" I asked. I really wanted her now, and I didn't know why.

"Sorry darling, I haven't seen her." Daddy replied. It wasn't unusual that him and Zosia wouldn't see each other for 3 or 4 days even though they worked in the same hospital together.

"No surprise there." I sighed.

"Hey, darling. I love you but I'm going to have to shoot off." Daddy said, he had an errand to run on the way home, and it was getting late, it was already getting dark outside.

"Okay, love you too daddy. night!" I said, he kissed me on the forehead and hugged me once more before leaving.

Jac bumped into daddy on the way out of the ward and she got in the lift with him, she must have walked him to the car because she was back on the ward within 10 minutes. I really don't want to know anymore than that.

Jac was dropping in on me every half an hour or so to check on my temperature, it was gradually coming down. She started me on some antibiotics just to be on the safe side.

A couple of hours later, Marie-Claire appeared. I looked out the window, it was dark. It's hard to keep track of time when you're sat around doing nothing all day.`I looked at the time on my 3DS. It was nearly 9 pm. I don't know how it was, but it was.

"Hey sweetie" Marie-Claire called.

"Hey!" I smiled.

"I've brought my iPad, we can watch The Fault In Our Stars." She laughed, she knew I loved that film.

"Yayy!" I replied. She had also bought popcorn.

She put the iPad on its stand close to the end of the bed, and set the film off. We both sat up on my bed and watched the film together. I still found I was watching the corridor for my sister. About 45 minutes later something caught my attention.

I saw Zosia walking up the ward out of the corner of my eye. She was looking for me. It had taken her a few hours, but she was here. I couldn't help but smile.

I looked at her but didn't say anything. I patted the space next to me, but she didn't sit there. Instead she sat down behind me, and pulled me into her lap. I lent back and relaxed, she kissed me on the side of my head, above my ear.

"I love you." She whispered in my ear.

"I love you too." I whispered back. 


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up at about 4 am, it was still dark outside. Zosia and Marie-Claire where no where to be seen. My chest didn't feel right. Okay, thats an understatement. It was on fire, but it wasn't a panic attack. I couldn't breathe properly. I began to panic even more. I clutched my chest and got blood all over my hand. I must have ripped my stitches. All I could think was I need Jac, and I need her now. I managed to climb out of bed. I could see the nurses station but it felt so far away.

As soon as my feet hit the floor the room started spinning. I walked as far as I could to the nurses station, I don't remember hitting the floor, but I do remember seeing Jac's shoes coming towards me. She had little things from 'Frozen' on her crocs that I had given her for Christmas, so I knew it was her. There was a lot of shouting, if they didn't quieten down, they'd wake up the whole ward. This is why side rooms where invented. But I couldn't make out what anyone was actually saying though, I just wanted to sleep, right there, on the floor.

I remember Jac's voice, and then having her hair dangling in my face. She unzipped my onezie, and that's the only time I've ever heard her swear. Swearing isn't something that happens in our house, unless Daddy is really mad. Its usually only Zosia that can make him that mad. I remember being tucked in her shoulder, and breathing in her scent. It relaxed me slightly, although I was almost completely unaware of what was going on. She must have picked me up and carried me like a baby to the operating theater, because there wasn't time for a trolley, and I know she wouldn't have trusted anyone else to.

The last thing I remember is grabbing Jac's hand as she turned away from me to go and scrub in. She turned back to me and kissed the centre of my forehead. She knew not to let me get stressed, otherwise I'd never take the oxygen mask. I can be a nightmare at the best of times when it comes t anesthetic.

"Don't leave.." I whispered. I'd picked up on her urgency by now, but I was still out of it. I don't think either of us though that it was an appropriate time to tell me that if she didn't open me up within the next 2 minutes and stop the bleed, I could possibly end up having a stroke and long lasting brain damage and mobility issues because not enough blood was getting to my brain. I'm glad she didn't drop that bomb shell on me. She has to have credit for staying chilled out in a crisis though.

"Don't worry princess, Jac will sort you out. I'll be here the whole time. You just let the nice man put you to sleep." She whispered to me as the oxygen mask was placed on my face. She knew I was bad with being put to sleep, as she had done most of my recent operations. She stood there and stroked the back of my hand gently with her fingers until I fell asleep.

When I woke up, Jac was stood at the end of my bed with the folder with my notes in. I'd been aloud to decorate it as a child and it still had lots of foam flower stickers stuck all over it. Embarrassing. I was 7.

"Hello you." Jac smiled coming and standing next to me. She put the raling on the side of my bed down, and sat on the edge of my bed. She took my hand and played with my fingers for a bit until she got a response out of me.

"mmm." I moaned. It was the best she was going to get.

I sat up very slowly, with Jac's help. My chest ached. It felt like someone had dropped a 10 stone weight on my chest. It was a lot worse than it was the first time I woke up.

"You EVER scare me like that again, and I swear you won't make it off the other side of the operating table!" She said sternly, but smiled. I was still in the dark to what had happened.

"mmm." I moaned, not really taking her seriously. Her face didn't soften any more.

"Do you want to know?" She asked.

I nodded.

"You are aware you've now had a second operation?" Jac asked.

"14th actually, if were getting specific." I muttered. Jac sighed, she knew I couldn't help but count them, she had performed 8 of them.

I gestured for her to explain this morning's events. I had absolutely no idea.

"You seriously don't remember anything?" Jac asked, looking slightly concerned.

I shook my head and regretted it immediately. It made me feel slightly sick.

"It doesn't suprise me in all honesty. You where pretty out of it this morning." Jac said to me. She shuffled up the bed closer to me so I could lean on her. She put my notes down and put her arms around me. I placed my head in the crease of her neck and relaxed.

"You have an infection deep in the wound where I operated, because you're so little and always ill, you know you don't have much of an immune system, so things are always worse for you. Some of the tissue around your heart was really badly infected, but I removed as little as I could get away with. he I also gave the wound a give flushing, so its now clean and you are on the strongest antibiotics we can give you. You are going to be fine, providing we keep a close eye on you, so I don't want you going wandering off too far okay?" Jac told me. I followed half of it, enough to know that I had been extremely lucky.

"Thank you." I whispered. I do owe my life to this woman, whether my sister likes it or not.

"It's going take a little longer for your wound to heal now, but theres no reason you can't be up and about later, as long as you take it easy, okay?" Jac told me, I don't take thngs easy, and she knows that. I don't know how to 'slow down'.

"Yeah.." I muttered. I'm sure I will be fine once I have slept.

"Okay?" Jac repeated. She could tell what I was thinking.

"Yes, okay!" I muttered. I had a thumping headache, and I hate being ill and stuck in one place all day, I had a habit of driving everyone around me insane.

"I'm going to let you sleep now, you're going to need it." Jac whispered to me and kissing me goodnight on the forehead. I spoke just as she got to the door.

"I don't want to be seen in this state okay? If anyone comes by I'm on the loo." I whispered. This was embarrassing enough as it is. I don't like being in a vulnerable position.

"Zosia? Your father?" She questioned, she knew what I was like with my sister. We had phases where we couldn't look at each other without having a shouting match, and days where I wouldn't leave her side. But she was always there for me when I needed her to be, even if we'd just had a fight, my sister was always there for me when I really needed her. I tried to be there for her, but because of the age difference, it wasn't very often she properly opened up to me.

"Apart from them." I replied. I was too tired to think straight.

"You get some sleep now." Jac smiled.

"Night.." I yawned.

"Sleep tight princess." Jac said closing the door. I rolled onto my side and watched her walk up the corridor, I wish I hadn't.

Outside my room, Daddy apeard. He wrapped his arms around Jac's waist.

EW. EW. EW.

I could see everything through the glass windows.

They kissed. I'm WAY sick to be seeing this.

YACK!

I picked up the closest thing to me, it happened to be an empty plastic disposable cup. I threw it at the window where they we're, they took the hint, because after waving too me, Daddy linked arms with Jac and walked up the corridor.

Peace and quiet at last. I fell asleep imediatly after.


	4. Chapter 4

When I woke up, Zosia had climbed into bed and wrapped herself around me. I swear she was as close to me as was humanly possible. Who needs a comfort blanket when you've got Zosia as a sister.

I rolled onto my back and yawned. I was a lot more awake, and more comfortable now. My headache had gone, and I didn't feel sick anymore.

"I love you." Zosia whispered, kissing me on the side of the head.

"I love you too." I replied, nestling into my sisters warmth.

We cuddled for a while, and chatted. I found out the latest gossip from Keller. Apparently Zosia's boss's 17 year old daughter, Rachael, was pregnant, and had a miscarriage and the father was one of her teachers! If I did that, I think Daddy would LITERALLY kill me.

Dad appeared about half an hour later with food. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I started eating. Once we had eaten, I tried to find something to watch on TV but there is never anything good on during daytime TV.

Zosia caught sight of Jac walking towards us and got up out of the bed. She could start a fight at the best of times. I swear, some days, my sister would start a fight with a brick wall given the chance if I walked into it. Anyone that comes near me or meets Zosia's definition of hurting me is probably going to get punched. It was handy growing up and going to the same boarding school as her, because it meant we never had to put up with bullying as kids.

"Zosh, don't!" I said, grabbing her arm. She just shook me off. If there was any moment that I wished the ground would swallow me up, I reckon this was it. Zosia could be hot headed at times. to say the least.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Zosia yelled at Jac as she walked through the door and up to my bedside. I wish she would just shut up. I can't believe she thinks that Daddy would sleep with some random person, who isn't highly intelligant and doesn't know what they're doing. Jac is a world renowned heart surgeon, probably the best in the world, and she thinks that she can't do her job.

"Darling!" Dad said sternly, trying to shut my sister up.

"Zosh..." I warned. This didn't need to go any further that it already had. My sister can be so stupid sometimes.

"If you'd like me to talk you through this morning's events Dr March, my office is empty." Jac said to my sister. I don't know what I was worrying about, Jac could handle Zosia any day. If she wanted to, she'd eat her for breakfast. Its Zosia I'm worried about now.

"There's nothing to discuss! Other than you're incompetence, and daddy is too deeply in love with you to see it!" Zosia yelled. Everyone on the ward fell silent and looked over at the commotion unfolding at my bedside.

"OFFICE!" Daddy said firmly. There was no point in arguing with him now. He was annoyed.

"NOW!" He yelled, making Zosia jump. When it came down to it, she always listened to Daddy.

Jac opened the door and Zosia walked through it, I followed and linked arms with my sister, Jac and Daddy followed behind us. When we got into Jac's office, I could tell it was about to kick off big time.

I sat in Jac's chair. I didn't have it in me to get between Zosia and Jac today.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Zosia started on Jac.

"IF YOU'D JUST DONE YOUR JOB PROPERLY IN THE FIRST PLACE, THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!" Zosia screamed.

"Darling, just calm down" Daddy said. For once, he was the one mediating, not me.

"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK TO JAC LIKE THAT, YOU APOLOGIZE THIS MINUTE YOUNG LADY." Daddy said to Zosia.

"Babe, I really think..." Jac started.

"No babe, she should apologise." Daddy said, cutting her off.

"I won't, and can you keep your pet names to your self please. I don't want to be seeing my lunch again." Zosia muttered.

"WILL YOU STOP BEHAVING LIKE A SPOILT BRAT FOR 3O SECONDS ZOSIA, AND OPEN YOUR EYES!" Jac said agitatedly. She didn't shout, but it was enough to make Zosia stop in her tracks.

"I am not taking sides here, but I'm going to say my peace." I said standing up and placing my hands down on the desk, to show I meant business.

"Sweetheart." Daddy said to me.

"I wish you would just shut up, ALL OF YOU. I can't believe you Zosia. Why on earth do you think that Daddy would sleep with someone who isn't highly intelligant and doesn't know what they're doing. Jac is a world renowned heart surgeon, probably the best in the world, and you think that she can't do her job? I wouldn't have anyone else operate on me, I know I'm in safe hands. She did nothing wrong, give the woman a break." I said firmly.

"Hey! That's unfair!" Zosia replied.

"No. Zosia, I love you, and I love Ma', just as much as you do, but we need to move on. Bringing Jac into our lives might be for the best, I'm not suggesting that we replace Ma, I know you two where close but I never knew her. You have had your fair share of relation ships, so why can't Daddy? Daddy deserves to be happy." I said. I wasn't done yet.

"But.." Zosia tried to cut me off, it wasn't very often I got this annoyed.

"One word Zosia, one word. JESSIE." I spat. That shut her up.

"I'm not finished. Daddy, Zosia's right. You are atleast 20 years old to be using pet names, at least infront of us. So please don't. Its weird, and gross. If Jac makes you happy, then Zosia and I are all for it." I said, in a much more calmer even tone.

"Jac, all me and my sister have done over the past few weeks is give you a hard time, and you've not done a runner, which I thinks speaks volumes. Please don't speak to my sister like that, and same thing for pet names. Its weird. You'll never be mine or Zosia's mother, but I'm sure we'll come to some sort of agreement if it works out." I said.

I smiled at all of them polietly, no one hadanything to say. I went and tried to hug my sister, but she pushed me away.

I stormed out. I'm glad Jac's office is out the way from the rest of the ward because I could still hear them shouting at each other as I walked away. I'd tried, and that was all I could do. I didn't want anything more to do with the situation for today.

Marie-Claire was waiting for me around the corner. I could do with the company.

"Are you feeling up to sitting in a chair downstairs for a bit and keeping us company? It's dead downstairs." Marie-Claire asked, I linked her arm and we walked off down the corridor.

"I don't know. I had heart surgery again this morning, I assume you heard." I muttered. Silly statement, I'm the CEO's daughter, people seem to know what is happening in my life before I do these days.

"Yes, you don't have to. But there's a chair downstairs with your name on it when you're ready kid." Marie-Claire said to me, heading in the direction of my bed.

"Thanks!" I smiled, I know I could always rely on her and Fletch and Harry to take my mind of things.

"Are you okay?" Marie-Claire asked, she could sense that something was up.

"It's not me you want to be checking on. It's Zosia. She kind of maybe told Jac she can't do her job." I muttered.

"ooo" She said. If you know Jac, you'll understand what she means.

"My sister is an idiot." I sighed. She definitly had her moments.

"I'll second that." She smiled.

"You know what, I will come down to the ward with you. I need to be away from the lot of them right now." I agreed. We walked down to AAU, and waiting for me was the comfy chair from Serena's office with a muffin on. I turned around and smiled at Harry. He knew how to treat girls, even when they are half his age and ill. 


	5. Chapter 5

While I was messing about on AAU with Marie-Claire, Fletch and Harry, I got a text from Daddy.

'I'm getting in a takeaway for tea. My office for 6 pm. BE THERE. Love Daddy xxx'

Definitely his usual charming tone.

I locked my phone and rejoined the conversation and tucked into my muffin.

"I take it you enjoyed that!" Marie-Claire smiled at me, referring to the muffin. I looked into my lap and there were crumbs everywhere.

'Sshh' I giggled. I stood up and brushed the crumbs off of my lap.

6 pm soon came around, and it was time for me to go and join Daddy for tea. I was guessing that Jac and Zosia had been invited, but it was anyone's guess if they were going to turn up.

As I walked up the hallway towards Dad's office, I could hear raised voices. I crept up to the door and pressed my back to the wall. I stood with my back with the door and listened.

"I don't know how you handle her." Jac yelled.

"She's a sweet, caring girl. They both are. She'll warm up to you eventually." Daddy said calmly, trying to ease the situation.

"She's not a child anymore! I can't win her over with cake and sweets guy!" Jac yelled.

I couldn't listen to this. I turned around and headed back for my bed on Darwin, I got a text from Daddy as I was walking onto the ward.

'Darling? Where are you? Hope everything's okay, love dad xxx'

I decided I was going to have to bite the bullet and join them for tea.

I walked back up to daddy's office, and this time I couldn't hear any argueing. I opened the door and I lingered just inside the doorway, and what I saw, surprised me.

Dad and Zosia where both kneeling either side of the coffee table in the middle of his office, working on a 3000 piece jigsaw together. Jac was sat at Daddy's desk in his swivel chair. He never let anyone sit in his swivel chair. It reminded me a time of when Mama was still alive, I could only have been about 5, it was late one night and I came down stairs because I couldn't sleep, and Zosia and Dad where sat doing a jigsaw over the coffee table in the living room while Mama was busy dashing around cleaning up the house. Dad had sent Zosia to put me back to bed, but not after she'd finished her half of the jigsaw. Coming back into the real world, I wiped a what could have been a tear off of my cheek, those where old times and very unlikely to happen again, under the circumstances.

"Princess?" Zosia smiled, a genuine smile. I smiled back.

"Come here!" Zosia said getting up and coming to the door and hugging me. At least she wasn't mad at me anymore.

"Zosia.." I laughed, hitting her so she would let go of me.

Zosia went and rejoined dad on the floor at the side of the coffee table to finish the jigsaw. I went and sat down on the beanbag in front of dads desk and got my phone out. Jac came and sat next to me on the floor. She still had her surgical scrubs on.

"Are you feeling okay?" Jac asked me. I put down my phone for a second to talk to her.

"No, not really. My chest kills." I sighed.

"I am not really suprised. I know I can't force you to take it easy, but if I have to I will attatch you to the bed so you can't go walk about." Jac retorted.

"I though it would." She then said in a softer tone. She fiddled round in her pocket for a second then handed me a strip of big, pink tablets. Pain killers. Proper ones.

"You can take 2. With your tea though." She smiled.

"Thank you." I replied and pocketed the drugs.

Dad got in a Chinese for tea. It was a lovely change from hospital food. We sat around for a good few hours with not one crossed word. Soon enough, it was time for me to retreat back to the ward.

I said goodnight to dad and Zosia and Jac took me back to her office.

"It's going to thunder tonight" Jac told me looking at the weather forecast on her computer. I groaned.

"I don't like thunder.." I trailed off.

"You know where I am if you want me, sweetheart." Jac said softly.

"Yeah, I do." I smiled.

"Night Jac." I yawned.

"Night darling." Jac replied.

Thunder and lightening wasn't exactly my strong point. I was scared of thunder, I used to climb into Zosia's bed over night as a kid, and she would cuddle me and make everything better. She had gone home with dad, so I was just going to have to sit on my 3DS all night. I wandered back onto the ward and tucked myself into bed. Soon afterwards, the night nurse dimmed the lights and the other patients started to fall asleep. With in minutes, the rain came down straight. I got a TV show up on my phone and put my headphones in to try and bock out the sound of the rain battering the window. Not long after, The first lot of thunder rolled in overhead, followed by a flash of lightening. I ignored the wave of panic that came over me and turned my headphones up louder. The second lot of thunder rolled in followed by more lightening. This happened for about 5 minutes, the thunder getting closer and closer until it was right above us. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. I was terrified. That's when the lights went out.

Everything was silent. Then the roar of more thunder. Then silence. It was pitch black.

"THERE'S NO NEED TO BE ALARMED. THE BACK UP GENERATOR HAS KICKED IN. WE HAVE NO LIGHTS BUT WE HAVE COMPUTERS AND THE WARD MACHINES." Jac called out rather loudly, making sure everyone could hear her.

A light lit up in the darkness, it was Jac's mini torch that she kept on her lanyard.

"IF ALL PATIENTS COULD REMAIN IN THEIR BEDS PLEASE, AND ALL WARD STAFF ASSEMBLE AT THE NURSE'S DESK WHERE I AM STOOD. THANK YOU." Jac called out again.

I knew where Jac was. I could get there I was panicking. I took the opportunity. I climbed out of bed and ran across the ward. I could barely see anything, as the only light was the glow from the computer screens. I tapped her on the elbow and she turned to face me. Jac put her hand on the side of my face and felt the tears on my cheek.

She gently put her hands under each of my armpits signaling for me to jump. I jumped up into her reach and she caught me. I wrapped my legs around her waist. Jac carefully put me down on the side of the nurses station but kept me close. She could feel me shake as I sobbed silently.

"Ssshh" she whispered, wiping the tears from my face. Jac rubbed my back to try and calm me down.

"It's alright. I've got you." Jac whispered in my ear. She kissed my forehead and held me until I calmed down.

Jac walked me to her office and sat me down on the sofa. She wrapped me up in the blanket she kept behind her desk.

I laid down and curled up. Jac laid down behind me and she was curled into me with her arms around my waist and her head just above mine, protectivly. I slowly began to feel safer.

The loudest roar of thunder yet came in overhead and I jumped. I let out a sob and rolled over into Jac. She pulled the blanket tight around us both and rubbed my back to calm me down while I nestled into her warmth. I loved the smell of her hair so much.

"Just focus on your breathing..." She whispered to me. That's the last thing I remember before eventually falling asleep. 


	6. Chapter 6

When I woke up, it was still dark outside. It took me a couple of seconds to adjust to the unfamiler surroundings. Jac was still wrapped around me protectively. She didn't look like Mrs Scary from this angle. She looked so peaceful asleep, I didn't want to disturb her. You wouldn't know she was worried about Johnny being in prison, or anything to be fair. I was almost starting to get used to the idea of her and dad.

I didn't want to wake Jac up, so I carefully untangled myself from her limbs and tucked the blanket around her to keep her warm. Luckily I didn't wake her up. I crept across her office to her desk. The clock read 3:00am. I'd been asleep for 4 hours, which was pretty good for me.

I sat in the chair at Jac's desk and tried to get on her computer. I clicked the mouse, and the computer asked for a password.

I took a couple of guesses...

Emma? No. Too obvious.  
Johnny? No. Too obvious.  
Guy? No. Too obvious.  
Holby? No. Too obvious.

None of them worked. I'm really bad with passwords. I looked under the stapler and hole punch on her desk. No luck there either.

"icequeen" Jac called. She made me jump. I didn't realize I'd woken her up.

"What?" I replied, a little startled and confused.

"icequeen" Jac repeated.

"My password." She added, smiling.

I entered it, and it worked.

"Where did that come from?" I asked.

"My nickname." Jac replied.

"Right..." I trailed off.

"I'll explain when you're older." Jac laughed.

I gave her a dodgey look and raised my eyebrows. Jac climbed off the sofa and came sat on the beanbag next to me.

"No! Nothing like that! Lets just say, I wasn't exactly Mrs Sensitivity when I first arrived." She told me.

"Nothing has changed then..." I replied.

"I'm sorry for waking you up." I apologized.

"It's okay, I'm a light sleeper. You have to be in this profession, life revolves around a pager." She smiled.

I went on facebook and showed her some photo's of me and Zosia and my dog and horse. I showed her some photos of me showjumping with my horse. She showed me some photos on the staff system of various drunk nights and Christmas do's. Jac was a good sport at 3am.

We sat around and chatted for about half an hour, until someone burst in through the door and announced about a major RTA with someone impaled with a scaffolding pole through their heart so Jac had to rush off, leaving me. This would be something I would never get used to, Jac constantly being dragged away.

After shutting down Jac's computer, I went back onto the ward. I must have fallen back asleep, because when I woke up it was light outside. I looked at my iPod, it was 7am. I shouldn't be this awake this early in the morning.

I got myself cleaned up in the toilets and for the first time since my operation, I put on clothes instead of pajamas. I had on leggings and a band t-shirt. Stero typical teenage look.

I entertained myself for the next few hours, when I recognized a familiar face heading towards me down the corridor. It was my maths teacher, Miss Corbett.

"Hello you!" Miss Corbett smiled coming up to my bedside.

"Hey!" I laughed, I was glad of the company.

"I promised I'd come and visit." Miss smiled.

"Thank you." I laughed.

"You're looking well." Miss said to me.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"How's school?" I asked.

"School. Your class is very quiet without you, I have to say." She said cheekily.

"Hey.." I mocked, acting all sweet an innocent.

"How's my horse?" I asked. I had left Miss in charge of my horse while I was in hospital because no one else could handle him.

Miss Corbett stayed for about an hour, and gave me some work for school. Which I had no intention of doing. It was lovely to see Miss Corbett. She is my favorite teacher after all.

Jac came and bought me some real food for lunch. Well, chips and a chocolate muffin.

I was begining to feel a bit now and fed up of being in hospital.

"What's up?" Jac asked me.

"I miss Ladybug...and Indie." I sighed.

I was missing my animals. Well, my dog and my horse. My dog's a white German Shepard, called Ladybug. She's an ex police dog, and an excellent guard dog. My horse is a 15.2 (so fairly big) black horse called Indie. He's only a baby so he's a bit of a handful to say the least. But my maths teacher was checking in on him, so I knew he would be fine. She's a very horsey person and won't take any nonsense.

"You'll be able to see them soon enough, I'm sure." Jac smiled. She was then called off to another patient. I was a bit annoyed that she just brushed it off.

As if Indie knew I was talking about him, My phone went. It was dad. He wasn't happy. He'd had the manager of the yard that my horse was at on the phone shouting at him this morning. My horse had been causing issues at the yard. Indie had been escaping from his field and upsetting the other horses and not letting people catch him to bring him into his stable so he had had to stay out in the field for the last week. He'd reared on Miss Corbett and nearly injured her, but she hadn't said anything to me. This is why I never go on holiday, because he gets such bad separation anxiety from me. Its cute, but irritating.

I asked dad to take me to the yard so I could sort him out, but he said he was too busy. I knew Zosia wouldn't, because she refused to have anything to do with my horse after he threw her off. My last hope was to ask Jac if she would take me.

I called Jac over to my bed. I'm sure she could spare 30 seconds to speak to me.

"Hey, do you think you could take me to the yard later? I've been made aware that a certain horse of mine is getting himself into trouble." I asked, trying to do the puppy dog eyes.

"Aw, he'll be okay. That Miss Corbett's looking after him and she seems nice enough." Jac assured me.

"Please." I begged.

"No." Jac said firmly.

"I'll do anything." I insisted.

"You can't risk getting another infection or injured, absolutely not. Maybe in a weeks time, but not today. You need to focus on getting better" Jac said firmly. She wasn't about to budge.

I glared at her as she walked away. She may not be Mrs Sensitivity, but If she's going to be my step mother, she's going to have to live with the fact that my boy comes before anything else.

As I walked away, I heard Mo make a comment to Jac.

"That's what they call the dripping tap syndrome. She'll go on and on until you give in. Welcome to the land teenagers." Mo laughed.

A few hours later, I caught sight of Jac walking onto the ward holding something wrapped in a hospital blanket. It was quite large, and looked like it was moving. I could see a white tail poking out the bottom. A dogs tail. Jac managed to make it to the end of my bed before Ladybug fought her way free and lept out of Jac's arms and jumped on top of me.

"Heyyy!" I laughed, smiling.

Ladybug stood in my lap with her paws on my shoulders licking my face with her tail wagging.

"I rang your father after your little tantrum earlier and asked him to bring her in." Jac smiled watching us.

"Thank you!" I smiled, hugging my dog.

"I can just about smuggle a dog, but not a horse." Jac remarked.

"Before you get any idea's" She added.

Ladybug was aloud to stay with me that day, and we went to down to AAU to see Marie-Claire.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey!" She called to me as I walked onto AAU.

"Hello!" I smiled. Ladybug barked to join in the conversation.

"How are you feeling?" Marie-Claire asked, bending down to stroke Ladybug.

"A lot better to be fair." I smiled.

"Good." She smiled back at me.

"You look it to." Marie-Claire added.

"Any new gossip?" I asked.

"Don't get me started.." Marie-Claire started.

We went and chilled out in Serena's office for a bit so she could update me, when we were interrupted by Harry. But I could forgive him this time, as he'd bought cake.

"Here you go ma'am." Harry said placing a cherry muffin in front of me.

"Thank you" I laughed. Ladybug barked as if to ask for some, but when Harry said no, she sat back on her 2 legs and begged.

I gave her half of mine, otherwise I knew she wouldn't stop whining.

Then we went to kellar ward to go and see Zosia. She was surprised to see our dog, but happy. I didn't need to keep Ladybug on a lead, she just followed me about. Dad had been given her to give to me when Mum died by a friend of his who was very high up in the police force. She was very protective over me and it was not unusual for her to have a growling fit at Dad or Zosia when we argued with each other. She had unusual markings for a German Shepard dog, she was white with a brown patch around her right eye and above her right back leg.

When I got back to Darwin, I decided I would ask again and see if Jac would change her mind about letting me go and see Indie.

"Hey, Jac?" I asked.

"I know what you're going to ask. The answer's no." Jac retorted without even looking at me.

"Please." I begged.

"No." Jac cut me off.

"Please Jac." I insisted.

"No. Go away. I'm busy." Jac said coldly.

I glared at her.

"Ice queen." I coughed walking away.

She called out to me but I ignored her and walked off. I even think Ladybug barked at her to tell her to shut up. I still don't know what was wrong with her, but I now understand how Jac got her nickname.

An hour or so later, Jac walked up to my bed with 2 motorbike helmets in her hands. I was slightly puzzled.

"I have an hour." Jac smiled at me.

"Are we?" I asked. She had given in. We were going to see Indie.

"We are." She smiled.

"Ladybug." I said turning to my dog.

"Lay down, and Stay." I said to her. She lay down in the middle of the bed and didn't move. I knew I could trust her to stay until I got back.

"Do you know where we are going?" I asked politely.

"I know where we are going, you're dad took me a while back." Jac

I put the motorbike helmet on. Jac climbed on the bike and I climbed on afterwards.

I loved being on the back of the bike, although I did get a bit cold. When we arrived at the yard, we put the helemets under the seat of the bike.

I went and said hello to the folks in the office. They were suprised to see me. I explained that I wasn't supposed to be here, but I'd been bought on the back of my surgeons motorbike.

"How's my lad?" I asked.

"I'm suprised he hasn't broken his leg the amout of fences he's been jumping." Caroline, the woman who runs the office remarked.

"I'm sorrry." I lied. Indie was a character, but I loved him.

I went round the 'back' of the yard and met up with a few fellow horse owners. 3 of them offered to go and get him in from the field so I didn't have to. They armed themselves with whips and a lunge line and went off to get him.

"If he bolts, let him go." I called after them. They knew the drill.

We saw him appear at the top of the hill. Even from a distance, he looked as if he was behaving like an idiot. I saw him rear, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Jac put her head in her hands.

Indie saw me and reared. Jac was stood next to me unable to say anything.

He reared and bucked again before bolting and galloping straight towards us. Jac took a step backwards.

"He's a big baby." I smiled.

He stopped in front of us and pranced for a second before head butting me. I greeted him.

"I missed you!" I laughed.

He stood there doing mini rears and bouncing on the floor and throwing his head up in the air. I stroked him and fed him and entire tube of polo's.

Indie kept nudging me when I was speaking to Jac, getting irritated when I was not paying attention to him. I knew what he wanted. He wanted to be ridden.

I turned to Jac.

"Race?" I asked.

"You've got to be kidding." Jac said, not taking me seriously.

"I'll race you. Me on Indie, you on your bike." I said.

"Your chest." Jac uttered, clearly thinking I was mad.

"It won't hurt my chest. And if he knows I'm in pain he wont move." I assured Jac.

After some persuading, I got Jac to help me tack Indie up.

Jac got on the bike. I got on Indie. The noise of Jac's bike didn't frighten him.

We turned onto the lane which we had come up to access the equestrian centre and I started of with a slow canter but let Indie go as fast as he could. We beat Jac to the end of the lane, and I was happy, Indie was worn out. Which meant he should behave.

I sipped a headcollar on him and Jac came with me to walk him back up to his field and he was as good as gold. I didn't have to hold onto the edge of the lead rope, he just followed.

When we got back to the hospital I was well and truely warn out. I was defiantly ready to go to bed.

Dad was waiting for me by my bed, and so was Ladybug, pretty much exactly where I left her.

"How is he darling?" He asked me.

"He's alright." I smiled.

I sat down on the bed and Ladybug crawled on my lap.

Dad handed me Ladybugs police jacket so she could stay at the hospital incase any questions were asked.

"Thank you dad." I smiled. I put the jacket in the bag with the rest of my stuff.

I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow that night. I was dreading the next day. I would be more than happy to stay snuggling under the duvet all day with Ladybug, but unfortunately that wasn't an option. 


	8. Chapter 8

Today is my mums anniversary. 8 years ago today she died from cancer. I would love to spend the entire day under the duvet snuggling with Ladybug, but I can't. I have to go and see Zosia and see if she's okay. I want to be there on the ward waiting when she comes into work.

When I woke up, Ladybug was laid out at the end of my bed, asleep. If I moved, I would wake her up. She looked so sweet and innocent asleep, but I had to get up. I gently pushed my toes into her ribcage to wake her up. She opened one eye and glared at me. I reached for the packet of dog treats I had on my bedside cabinet and threw one at her. That woke her up.

Mum would have loved Ladybug. She loved dogs, well she loved animals. My horse, Indie, is the baby of the horse she had, Amity. From what I've been told, it was mums idea to get a dog for me, but dad wasn't for it, but now I have Ladybug, so he obviously changed his mind.

I knew today was going to be hard for my dad and my sister. Zosia lets it show when she's struggling, where as dad bottles it up, but now he has Jac I'm hoping he'll talk to her. I am like dad, I'll be there for my sister but I don't like to talk about it. Dad made me see a grief councillor for a while afterwards but it didn't really get us anywhere. It helped Zosia cope with it though.

It was still early in the morning, about 6 am, so I slipped out of my room without anyone seeing me. Jac wasn't due on shift for another half an hour or so.

I went to the bathroom and made myself look presentable. I put on the locket with our family photo on. I only wore it for special occasions as I didn't want to loose/break it. Mum had given them to me and Zosia just before she died. An hour or so later I sneaked back onto the ward and back to my bed. Before I'd finished making my stuff neat, Jac burst in the room with my breakfast.

"Morning, sweetheart." She smiled.

"mmm." I grunted. I wasn't in a people mood today. I didn't know if Jac knew it was my mum's aniversairay and was trying to be nice to what, but I wasn't going to be the one to tell her.

Jac pulled the bedside table over my bed and put the tray on it. She'd bought me an english breakfast, egg, bacon sausage, and a cherry muffin. I wasn't really in the mood to eat, but I didn't want to upset her.  
"Thank you..."I smiled politely. Ladybug was whimpering away next to me.

I waited for Jac to leave. I fed the sausages and bacon and half the muffin to Ladybug and ate the rest myself. I then sneaked out of my room, making sure no one saw us, and headed down to kellar ward to see my sister. I got there just in time, as she was coming through the main doors when I walked down through the ward, so we almost walked straight into each other. Ladybug saw her before I did because she ran up to Zosia's feet. She was walking with Dom and Arthur.

"Zos..." I whispered.

"Come here, sweet..." Zosia said pulling me into a cuddle.

I let her cuddle me for a few seconds. When we emerged from the hug, Dom and Arthur were int he middle of gesturing a conversation with each other. They both looked confused. Zosia and I were not usually this nice to other this early in the morning.

"Are you holding up okay?" I whispered. Zosia didn't reply.

"It's okay, I get it." I whispered.

Zosia hugged me again before telling me what the plans for the day were.

"Be in dad's office for 11 o'clock, we're going to see mum, then lunch." She whispered.

"ooo" Dom and Arthur chourused. It made sense to them now. We ignored them.

"Alright." I replied quietly.

Zosia tentatively pushed my fringe out of my face and kissed my forehead.

"Love you." She whispered.

I pulled her close to me for another hug.

"Love you too." I whispered in her ear.

"Can we have 5 minutes?" Zosia asked, turning to Dom and Arthur.

"Of course, I'll tell Sacha where you are Zosh." Dom replied reaching out to rub Zosia's arm, but Ladybug growled at him.

Zosia led me into the staffroom where we were in private. She sat down in the armchair in the corner and pulled me into her lap.

"Are you okay?" Zosia asked.

"Fine." I replied.

"How's your chest doing?" Zosia asked.

"Fine." I sighed. I relaxed into Zosia and put my head in the creak of her neck, and cuddled her.

We sat there for a few minutes until Ladybug started to complain.

"I should get to work." Zosia said.

I carefully got off of her lap.

"I'll see you in dad's office at 11, okay princess?" Zosia smiled to me.

"Yep." I smiled back.

I walked Zosia onto the ward then made my way back to darwin.

I got back to my bed and Jac stuck her head around the door to check if I was alright. I told her I was fine.

I looked at the clock, it was 10:30. I tidied all my things away. I took Ladybug's police jacket off and put on her smart black leather collar. I gave her a brush so she looked clean and tidy. She then followed me into the bathroom. I brushed out my hair and scraped it back into a bun. I applied some pale lipstick. Like this, I was the spitting image of my older sister, and my mother. The time was then 10:45. Time to go up to dad's office.

When I got there, I was expecting dad to be there on his own, but Jac was with him.

"We're going out in a bit Jac!" I smiled at her walking in the room.

"Yes, I know sweet." Jac smiled back at me.

"Darling, Jac's coming with us today." Dad said.

He stopped me in my tracks. I looked at him.

"Right." I muttered. I was a little bit confused.

I didn't think it was right but I didn't have a say. But it wasn't my reaction dad need to worry about, it was Zosia's.

"It's not me you should be worrying about, it's Zosi..." I started.

At that moment, Zosia burst into the room, cutting me off.

"Zosia! You know that story I was telling you earlier? Well I need to tell you the end, now! Dad we'll meet you in the car!" I said, pouncing on Zosia and making her walk back out the door. I took her hand and dragged her down the corridor so she couldn't turn around. I'd left Ladybug in the office with dad and Jac.

"Woah! Sweet! Calm down, rewind!" Zosia said stopping and forcing me to stop with her. She pulled me closer so she could look me in the eye.

"WHAT is going on." Zosia asked firmly.

"The thing is..." I trailed off. Zosia gestured for me to continue.

"Well..." I started.

"Sweetheart. Tell me." Zosia reassured.

"Dad's invited Jac to come with us today." I blurted out really quickly.

I saw the corners of Zosia's mouth turn down. I knew she was about to cry.

"Zos, don't. I know, I know." I whispered, pulling her into a hug. I had to go on my tiptoes to hug her properly.

"Let's get out of here, we'll wait in the car." Zosia muttered, pushing me away from her.

She walked of at quite a speed and I had to jog to keep up with her.

"Zosh!" I called, she ignored me. I left it, because I didn't want to upset her.

We waited at the car for about 10 minutes, before dad appeared with Jac. They had Ladybug on a short black lead.

I climbed in the back behind the drivers seat, Ladybug in the middle and Zosia behind the passenger. Dad drove and Jac sat in the front of the car next to him.

Today was going to be a very long day.


	9. Chapter 9

When he started the car, dad put in the mixed CD of mum's favourite songs. The likes of Coldplay, West Life.

The first song to come on was 'you raise me up'.

Zosia wouldn't look at me, but I could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. I could understand why. Ladybug nudged her hand to try and get her attention but when Zosia batted her gently on the head she came back to me. We sat there in silence, I wanted to reach out to my sister and hug her, but I knew that it wasn't the best idea right now.

The next song was 'sweet child o' mine'. I knew this would make me cry. I loved this song. I used to sing to it as a kid with mum when she took me out as a kid in the car.

Ladybug started off laying over the seat in the middle, but she managed to slowly move herself so she was sat on my lap with her head looking out of the window. I put my arms around her and cuddled her, it was the only comfort I could get. A few tears escaped down my cheeks and Ladybug stretched up to try and lick them up but I wouldn't let her.

I looked at the mirror in the middle of the car. I could see that Dad had tears in his eyes but he was focusing on driving. I made eye contact with Jac. She red puffy eyes, as if she was holding back tears too. I couldn't imagine why. Unless she was upset seeing us upset, which is kind of cute but a bit weird at the same time.

I zoned out completely to stop myself from crying, but as soon as I heard Zosia let out a sob, and I heard the song, I couldn't stop myself from crying either. 'My immortal' was playing. I glanced at dad, and he was actually crying too. I shoved the dog off my lap and into the foot well, unclipped my seat belt and slid across the back seats to Zosia. She was reluctant at first, but when I showed I wasn't going to back down, she wrapped her arm around me and let me sit close with her. I gently lent on her shoulder and she kissed the top of my head and rubbed my arm to comfort me.

"Ssshh..." She said to me, pulling a tissue out and wiping my cheeks.

"You shush yourself then." I smiled.

When we eventually pulled up at the cemetery, Zosia and I were already worn out from crying.

I climbed out first with the dog, and walked straight to and stood by mum's grave. Dad and Zosia always had a walk around first to visit some other relatives, before sitting on mum's bench by her grave.

When we got to her headstone, I let Ladybug off the lead. She went to the headstone and sat and pawed at it for a second, before retreating to the foot of the grave and laying down, whimpering, then keeping watch. As if there was someone stood at the headstone telling her what to do. Strange dog...

I sat on the bench, and spoke to mum.

'Dad's new girl friend is with us today mum, I think you'd like her.' I had to pause every so often to cry.

'She's called Jac, and she's got long ginger hair. She's got a daughter too, called Emma.' I paused to take a breath.

'She's the lady that did my heart operation. The one that you were told I would have to have when I got older when I was a baby. I had an infection after it, but it's all sorted now and I'm on the mend.' I paused, letting out a small sniff.

'Ladybugs here to, and Zosia. Zosia misses you loads. We've both got your necklaces on today, the ones you gave us.' I stopped for a few seconds.

'Your favourite song was on the radio yesterday, Paradise city."

Mum was a huge fan of Guns 'n' Roses, and I felt the need to sing to her. She got me and Zosia to when she was dying.

'take me down...' I tried to sing, but I couldn't through the tears.

"down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty" Zosia's voice sang out almost silently behind me. I only just heard her. Her voice was cracking as if she was trying not to cry. Dad and Jac were no where to be seen for the moment.

She walked around the bench and came and sat next to me and put her arm around me. I immediately wrapped both my arms around her chest and hugged her, and started sobbing.

Zosia pulled me onto her lap and rocked me side to side until I calmed down. She was a great cuddler when she wanted to be.

"I want to go home." I whispered.

"What do you mean? Now?" Zosia asked.

"I don't want to stay in hospital any longer. I want to come home with you, not be left every night." I whispered into her chest.

"You knew it was going to be a long recovery time, but Jac let you come out today didn't she? Any other doctor wouldn't have aloud it, especially after your antics with Indie yesterday, and yes, I heard about that." Zosia said to me. She was right, but it didn't mean I had to like it.

I sniffed in response.

"but if it makes you feel better, I won't leave you tonight, okay?" She whispered to me.

I nodded in response. It was good enough for me.

I sat with Zosia and we cuddled, and about 10 minutes later Jac and dad appeared. Zosia shuffled up, keeping me on her lap, so they could both sit down. You could tell that both of them had been crying.

"What would your mother say if she could see us now..." dad sighed.

"Trzymaj glowe wysoko i nie poddawac sie bez wzgledu na to, zycie rzuca na ciebie. " Zosia and I replied unanimously. It was Polish for 'hold your head high, and keep going no matter what life throws at you'.

We smiled. Not a happy smile, but a smile. I'm happy that dad's finally moving on, and I think mum would be to.

We sat in silence for a while, enjoying each others company, occasionally breaking the silence with a sniff, or the stillness to dry our eyes.

"We should be going, our reservation is in half an hour." Jac said, breaking the silence. She was right.

"You two go on ahead, we'll catch you up." Dad said to us softly. I think he wanted to say his bit to mum.

I climbed of Zosia's lap, and put Ladybug on her lead, said goodbye to mum, and started to walk back towards the car.

When we got to the car, we leant against it, and I asked Zosia a question.

"What do you think of Jac?" I asked. I knew I was about to open a can of worms.

"She treats you very well." Zosia replied. That wasn't what I was getting at and she knew it.

"No, Zosh. What do YOU think of her as a person." I asked, trying to say what I meant without actually saying it.

"As a mother you mean?" Zosia asked raising her eyebrows at me. I hesitated, but nodded in response.

"She's not our mum, and she never will be."

"I know, and I don't want her to be. I want my mum." I replied in the naive childish fashion of a 9 year old. I swear Zosia smiled at that, but I don't know why.

"I'll learn to get on with her I suppose, in time, but I don't know her, and I don't want to. But, it looks like we don't have a choice." Zosia muttered. She'd seen Dad and now I had. He was walking towards us, arm in arm with Jac.

"as long as she treats you how she should, and doesn't try and be our mother." Zosia finished. Which was fair enough.

"Thank you." I smiled, hugging her. I hated fighting and she knew that. Zosia was the kind of person that charged head first into a situation and left other people to clear up the mess. But hey, that's my sister for you. Dad unlocked the car and I walked around the otherside and let the dog jump in first.

"But I'm still not going to be nice to her." Zosia smiled at me as we both got in the car.


	10. Chapter 10

Next stop was the restaurant for lunch, but it was quite a long drive away. It was strange having Jac there with us. I didn't exactly not want her there, but I didn't really want her there either. It had always been me, Zosia, mum and dad. Now it was just me, Zosia and dad. I didn't know if I was ready for me, Zosia, Jac and dad.

A couple of times on the way to the restaurant, Zosia mouthed to me 'are you alright?' and I nodded in reply. I think we were both all cried out for now.

When we arrived at the restaurant, Zosia, Jac and dad got out first while I put Ladybug's dog bowl on the floor and made sure she had some water while we left her in the car.

It was a lovely family run, country family pub. Ma and Dad had gotten to know Mick and Linda, the couple who ran the pub, so well that whenever we went in there, Zosia and I would get an extra flake in our ice cream, or lollies when we left. The little things like that that children remember. We had presents waiting for us every Christmas, birthday and eggs every easter. They always remembered. We didn't have to book our table this date every year, Mick and Linda kept our table for us and we turned up like clockwork each year. They had a sign as well, which they'd put out today which was in memory of Ma, a plaque above our table and on the back of the seat where she sat, and a bench in the back garden. Our mother definitely touched a lot of lives. Mick and Linda always refused to take payment for our meal, and they'd put the money and double it from them and give it to the cancer charity that helped look after Ma when she was ill. They also had grown up kids AND Linda was pregnant again. Nancy was the eldest, she's 21 and the only girl, and my favourite.

I held Zosia's hand on the way into the restaurant, I tangled my fingers in hers and she stroked down the edges of mine to reassure me.

"Not got Ladybug?" Linda smiled at me when I walked through the door. I always look Ladybug everywhere with me, Mick and Linda didn't mind having her as she was no trouble and would play with their bulldog Lady Di.

"She's in the car." I smiled back.

"You not bringing her in then? Mick's put something out for her." Linda asked.

I looked at dad, and reluctantly he threw the keys at me. I ran back outside and got Ladybug out of the car.

When I walked back in the restaurant Jac and Zosia had moved closer to each other, but I didn't think anything of it.

We sat at out usual table in the corner, table for 4. I always sat right in the corner with Zosia next to me, then Dad opposite me and Ma opposite Zosia. But now the seat by the window was always empty. It was Ma's seat. But Jac was in it today. I wasn't ready for this, and I think Zosia sensed it. Ladybug would always sit next to me with her head in my lap or lay across under the table so I could use her as a foot rest. Mick always made sure Ladybug had a fair size portion of chicken on a separate dish or other meat when he bought our food out.

I asked Dad to order my usual and I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I locked myself in a cubicle and hit the back of the door and stood there with my head lent against it for a few seconds.

"Sweet?" Zosia called out.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"You alright in there?" She asked.

"Yeah" I replied.

"You sure?" Zosia asked.

"Yeah" I replied.

"Well you know where I am if you need to talk." Zosia called, and with that she left the loos.

I stayed on my own for a few minutes, before returning to the table. The loos were on the other side of the pub, so I had to walk back to our table in the corner dodging in and out of the tables. It was pretty quiet today to be fair.

When I got in sight of our table, I saw something that nearly made me walk into the table in front of me.

Jac had her arms around Zosia, and Zosia's head was tucked into Jac's neck. Zosia had her arms around Jac, they were very close to each other. They were hugging the way Zosia and I hugged.

I didn't know what to think. I stopped for a second and watched them. I swear I saw Jac kiss Zosia in the middle of her forehead. I was still watching them, when Zosia caught sight of me out of the corner of her eye and pushed herself away from Jac, as if she didn't want to be seen by me. I rolled my eyes at her and glared, any other day I would be in the front row with bloody pom poms cheering them on, encouraging them to get on with each other, but not today. When I got to the table acted like I had seen nothing.

The rest of the meal was uneventful. The food was wonderful as usual. Ladybug had her chicken under the table. I excused myself from the table and Linda called Nancy down with Lady Di and we went in their back garden with the dogs until it was time to go.

It was an even longer drive back to the hospital, and I was getting tired, so was Ladybug. As soon as we got back in the car she curled up on the middle seat and went to sleep. On the way back, Zosia looked as if she was dozing but I couldn't be sure. I must have fallen asleep at some point because I was woken up by Jac opening my door when we were back at the hospital.

"When can I go home?" I asked, getting out of the car and yawning.

"A few days, we'll see how you are." Jac replied.

I glared at her, I knew what she meant by that. Not anytime soon. I was beginning to get bored having to stare at the same four walls everyday.

Jac had to rush off as soon as we got back to the hospital. An emergency case had come in.

"The dog has to go home tonight. There's a very important meeting going on tomorrow, she's got to go, and you've got to remember your a patient. There's going to be some extremely important people here tomorrow." Dad said to me.

I groaned.

"Can you leave her in the car please." Dad asked.

I groaned again and he raised his eyebrows.

I patted my stomach telling Ladybug to jump up to me so I could say goodbye. I cuddled and kissed her then reluctantly left her in the car.

Zosia, dad and I walked up to dads office. Dad had to leave us to go and attend to something too, so it was just me and Zosia. We chilled for a bit, before she took me back to the ward.

"Are you still staying?" I asked her as we entered the side room where I was sleeping.

"Yes. But I need to go home and get some things first, and book the day off work tomorrow." Zosia said. I was glad she had agreed to stay, but I think it was as much for her benefit as mine, neither of us wanted to be alone tonight.

Zosia text Arthur and he agreed to take her home and back. She was gone a good hour or so, while she was gone I went and sat with Marie-Claire for the last hour of her shift.

Zosia text me when she was almost back and I agreed to meet her back at my room. I was longer than anticipated, but Zosia and Arthur were still there waiting for me, Arthur left once I had got there.

Zosia had bought her laptop and put it on the table that goes over the bed. She'd downloaded my favourite film and had it ready to watch, she'd also bought 2 big bags of popcorn.

"You're a legend Zosia." I smiled at her. We drew the blinds round the outside of the room and both climbed under the covers and into bed.

We watched my film, and then Zosia let me subject her to 2 episodes of my favourite anime before we eventually fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

When I woke up, Zosia was already awake and was sat at the end of my bed on her computer. I could sense that she wasn't right before I spoke to her. There was just that kind of energy in the room.

"Morning!" She smiled at me, very excitedly.

"Morning." I smiled back calmly, trying to contain her energy.

"I thought you weren't going to work?" I asked, noticing Zosia was already in her work scrubs.

"I changed my mind." She smiled.

"Well you're going to be late! You best get going!" I laughed, aiming to get rid of her. I needed to warn someone.

Zosia smiled at me, closed her laptop and literally bounded out of the room. As soon as Zosia was out of my sight, I shot off as fast as I could.

Zosia has bipolar disorder. She is on tablets for it, and she will be for the rest of her life. She takes lithium as a mood stabilizer which takes away her erratic behaviour as long as she takes them regularly.

I had 2 options. I could go to dad. Or Zosia's boss then dad, but I'd have to move fast if I was to beat Zosia. I decided I had to run. I got to Keller as fast as a I could. My heart was pounding in my chest, but somehow I got there before she did.

I almost ran straight into Sacha.

"Woah, speedy!" He smiled at me, sticking his arm out to stop me going flying straight past him when I tried to stop.

"It's Zosia." I panted.

"What's Zosia? And she's not working today, she booked the day off." Sacha replied sounding really confused.

"She's having one of her episodes. Please keep her safe. I need to get dad." I blurted, Sacha understood. Unfortunately, he had seen Zosia during a bipolar episode before.

"Don't make it obvious. Ill get dad." I said. I could trust Sacha. I heard Zosia's voice from down the corridor, so I shot off before she saw me.

I got to dads office, and I took a couple of seconds to catch my breath before I went in. While I was stood there, I could hear some very strange moaning and groaning noises, but I couldn't tell where they were coming from so I didn't think anything of it.

I burst in through the door of dads office, then discovered the reason why knocking was invented.

Dad was on top of Jac and Jac had no trousers on. They were very hot and sweaty and making a lot of noise.

"JESUS CHRIST!" I yelled covering my eyes and almost walking into the door on my way out.

"I'LL COME BACK LATER!" I yelled slamming the door behind me.

I heard giggling, like 2 teenagers who had just been caught.

THAT WAS WAY TO MUCH I DIDN'T NEED TO SEE ANY OF THAT. I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT EITHER OF THEM WITHOUT SEEING THAT. EW. YACK. EW. EW. URGH.

I had more important things to worry about than my dad screwing Jac even though that's pretty gross.

I went back onto Keller to go and check on Zosia. I knew I could trust Sacha but Zosia can be violent and unpredictable when she's having an episode, it doesn't matter who you are when she's in the middle on an episode.

Zosia was nowhere to be seen. Sacha was on the look out for her and had Marie-Claire, Fletch, and Arthur and Dom on the look out for her. There was no one better than Arthur who could look, he understood how she worked, and could think like her.

After Sacha assured me I didn't need to go and look as well, I hurried back to dads office. I was hoping that dad and Jac would be clothed, because we really needed help.

I knocked on the door this time and Jac let me in. Dad wasn't in the room.

"What's up hun?" Jac asked calmly.

"Where is dad?" I asked urgently.

"Why? I can help if you need something?" Jac offered.

"I'm sorry, but this is out of your territory." I said.

"Where is dad?" I repeated.

"He is in his meeting. What's up?" Jac asked putting her arm around me.

I turned to her and clung onto her for a few moments.

I was scared. It had been a while since I had seen my sister like this. I knew the warning signals all too well. I managed to compose myself enough to speak to Jac but before I could talk I completely broke down in tears.

"...Zosia..." I sobbed.

"What about her?" Jac asked cuddling me into her chest.

"She...she...not right..." I sobbed.

"You need to get dad. You need to make him listen." I blurted out very quickly. I realised how mad I sounded.

"He's just gone into his meeting sweet, you know this is a very important meeting." Jac said to me, not understanding.

"THIS IS HIS DAUGHTER! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT IT COULD BE." I yelled pushing Jac away from me. She looked confused. I took a couple of seconds to breathe and calm down before continuing.

"Zosia has bipolar disorder." I said, taking a deep breath afterwards. Zosia didn't like everyone knowing. This was need to know information, but I figured that I needed all the help we could get at the moment with dad off the scene.

Then things made sense to her.

"She's having an episode." I said.

"Sacha has people out looking for her. Ill go straight back down to Keller as soon as I've tried to get dad." I said and I dashed off before Jac could stop me.

I knew where dad would be. He would be in the conference room on the east side of the hospital. Luckily it wasn't to far away. It took me about 7 or 8 minutes to get there in a fast walk.

I knew I couldn't just burst in the room, but I remembered dad saying there was a little intercom room for emergencies. I found the door that led up to the room at let myself in. There were a couple of doctors in the room overlooking the meeting, they looked at me and must have seen the striking likeness between me and Zosia. They let me into the room.


	12. Chapter 12

I stood at the window overlooking the room where dad was having him meeting.

I took a deep breath and pushed the intercom button.

"Hello, Mr. Self." I said, trying to sound important and official.

"There's a situation involving one of the junior doctors on Keller." I said, hoping he'd take the hint.

"Well I'm sure the team on Keller are more than capable of dealing with it." Dad responded in a very matter of fact tone, I could tell I had annoyed him.

"I am busy. If there's no one else to deal with it, contact senior the senior staff on AAU." Dad added. I glared at him before turning away and walking away from the window.

I was angry at him. I didn't know if he understood what I was getting at, but I was angry at him either way. I knew he was very busy and that this was an important meeting for the hospital but I thought that his staff, and his daughter, would be more important.

I needed to get back to Keller to see if Zosia had turned up yet. I took the shortcuts so it only took me 5 minutes. When I got on the ward, I came in the top end. The ward was unusually empty of staff, there was only a couple of nurses floating about. It was obvious that Zosia wasn't here.

I left the ward, and headed down the corridor. I could hear a commotion unfolding down one of the corridors coming off the main corridor, from the direction of the operating theatre's. As I got closer I could see some faces I recognised. Dom and Arthur were among the faces stood outside.

I quickened my pace up the corridor. Dom started to come towards me.

"Dude." He said to me.

"We need you help." Dom said.

Arthur then came jogging up to us.

"No. No we don't." Arthur said trying to drag Dom away from me.

"Right, what's going on." I said, trying to push my way through them both. They had formed a barrier between me and the door to the operating theatre.

"Nothing." Arthur said before Dom got a chance to say anything.

Dom turned to Arthur and muttered something that I didn't hear, but it made him stop.

"You were right about Zosia." Dom said. It stopped me in my tracks. I felt like it been punched in the stomach. I swore under my breath. I took a deep breath and looked at Dom and Arthur.

"What do I need to do?" I asked.

"Nothing." Arthur said cutting me off. I could clearly see that he didn't want me involved.

Dom glared at Arthur then turned to me.

"Go and look through the slit in the door. Don't move it, don't open it, don't make any noise." Dom said to me in a very serious tone.

I walked past them and peeked through the door. Zosia was backed into a corner with her back against the wall. She was holding a scalpel up to 3 members of staff. They were stood around her, but about 10 feet away. The people stood around her where Fletch, Marie-Claire and Sacha. Zosia was shaking and shouting. I could see Sacha trying to negotiate with her, but I couldn't hear what either of them were saying.

I walked away from the door and turned to Dom.

"What do I need to do?" I asked him.

"Absolutely nothing. We're dealing with it. Everything is under control." Arthur said, trying to play down the situation.

"It looks like it." I muttered back.

Dom handed me a needle with a fast acting sedative in it.

"No, I can't." I said, staring at the needle in my hand. I couldn't do this to my sister.

"If you don't she's only going to hurt herself or someone else." Dom said reassuringly.

"I don't think..." Arthur tried to chime in.

"She's not going to let us anywhere near her. Unless you've got a better idea?" Dom said to me softly then turning to Arthur.

"Right." Arthur replied, pushing his glasses up his nose.

I took a deep breath and took the needle from Dom. I couldn't believe I was doing this, but to be fair I didn't really have a choice.

"It doesn't matter where you put the needle, in her arm is ideal but it all ends up in the bloodstream anyway, but push it in about half an inch and push the end until it won't go down anymore then remove it carefully. You won't hurt her I promise. She'll be unconscious within 20 seconds." Dom said, rubbing the side of my arm for support.

I walked into the operating theatre and held the needle behind my back. Sacha, Marie-Claire and Fletch were stood around Zosia, several feet away. Zosia had a scalpel in her hand and was pointing it at them, whenever one of them moved towards her. She was shaking. I knew that these guys on the receiving end knew this was Zosia's bipolar speaking.

"Hey, Zosia." I called calmly. I slowly began to walk towards her. She ignored my call to her.

"Zosh?" I called again, fighting to keep a calm tone. I was now in line with Fletch, Marie-Claire &amp; Sacha. They couldn't see the needle behind my back yet.

"They're all in on it together." She said frantically, still shaking. She was backed into a corner, with about 6 feet between us and her.

"I know they are. Zosh, I know. I've heard them talking all about it, all of them." I replied calmly. You have to go with Zosia, fighting her will just cause more problems.

"You've heard them, then you know I'm not lying." Zosia said, waving the scalpel around.

"I know you're not lying." I said calmly, taking another couple of steps towards her. Sacha, Fletch and Marie-Claire could now see the needle that I was hiding behind my back.

"Hey, Zosh." I called out. I could hear how vulnerable I sounded in my own voice.

"Put the scalpel down, hey?" I said, still trying to say calm, but it was getting harder and harder.

"No. The men in white will come for me if I do I have to protect myself." Zosia said, still frantically waving around the scalpel.

"No one is coming for you, I promise, and if they do, they've got to come through me first to get to my sister." I soothed taking another few steps towards her.


	13. Chapter 13

There was now only another couple of feet between us now.

"Put it down Zosia." Sacha chimed in from over my shoulder. It made me and Zosia jump, I'd forgotten about the other people in the room. Sacha took another step forward which spooked Zosia.

"Stay away!" She screamed at him.

"Zosh, darling, sweetheart. No one is here to hurt you." I said. I took another step towards her.

"Put the scalpel down." I said firmly.

"Now." I added when she didn't respond.

Zosia dropped the scalpel on the floor, the noise made me jump, but now Zosia was safe, I just wanted to jump on her and cuddle her but I couldn't, not with a needle behind my back.

I took another few steps towards her, slowly.

I was now centimetres away from Zosia. I reached out and gently put my empty hand on her neck and put my forehead on hers and looked into her eyes. She was as scared as I was.

"It's okay, I'm not going to let anyone hurt you." I whispered to her. I felt her slightly relax.

"I've got you Zosia." I whispered, trying to comfort her.

I reached onto my tip toes and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm so sorry." I wimpered, I had to do it but I didn't want to.

I brought my hand round from behind my back and hugged her. I pushed the needle into her back, where my hand would be if I hugged her round her waist. I saw the look in her eyes, and I felt awful. Her eyes said it all. I had betrayed her.

As the sedative inhibited her system, I felt her weight buckle. I grabbed her and fell to the floor with her. I pulled her into my lap, so I was sat with my legs out, lent against the wall with the top half of Zosia's body across my legs from the side.

"Just go to sleep Zosh, ssshh, it's okay. I've got you." I soothed.

She was weak, but still conscious. The look in her eyes made me want to be sick.

"Just go to sleep princess..." I whispered, putting my hand on the side of her cheek, and kissed her forehead and broke down into tears.

As she slipped into a forced sleep, I unclipped her ID tag and put it in her pocket on her left hip. I felt a strip of pills and took them out. They where her bipolar pills, and she hadn't been taking them for 3 days. That explained a lot.

I cuddled her as she went limp, then her breathing fell into an even pattern. I was sobbing uncontrollably.

Fletch and Sacha moved to come towards me and move Zosia and put her in a bed, but Marie-Claire put her arm out to stop them.

"Leave her for a second." Marie-Claire whispered. The room was silent for a minute or so.

"Dom, Arthur and I will sort her out, can you please make sure the side room on AAU, and can you also page psych, and let them know that Mr Self's daughter has had a relapse." Marie-Claire said very calmly as not to upset me any further.

Fletch and Sacha let themselves out of the room quietly and Dom and Arthur came in.

I didn't really know what was going on at this point. I zoned out. Dom and Arthur gently lifted Zosia's limp body of of me and gently placed her in the bed they had bought in.

Zosia looked as if she had just simply fallen asleep laying there on the bed. She has this adorable way of smiling in her sleep. She was still in her Keller scrubs.

I picked up the scalpel that Zosia had held and the needle I'd injected her with up of the floor and put them on the side.

Dom and Arthur wheeled Zosia out of the operating theatre, heading towards AAU.

As they got out the door, I head dads voice. Jac was with him. Either she had got him out of his meeting or she'd jumped on his as soon as he left.

"Darling?" Dad said worriedly as Zosia was wheeled past him.

He stepped into the room where I was with Marie-Claire.

"Oh darling, what happened?" Dad said to me, trying to walk towards me. Jac could obviously see what I was about to do because she grabbed dads elbow to stop him being within my reach.

"YOU WEREN'T HERE WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN!" I yelled at him, I don't know what I was trying to do but I flew for him, but Marie-Claire was quick to react and grabbed me around the waist before I could get anywhere.

"I came to you, I asked. I told you Zosia wasn't well." I sobbed.

"I had to stick a needle in her and sedate her! You didn't see the way she looked at me!" I screamed at him.

"Darling..." Dad said taking a step backwards, realising how I was feeling.

"Just go Guy, ill stay here until she's calm and bring her down, okay?" Marie-Claire said holding onto me.

Dad nodded and him and Jac walked arm in arm out of the door.

"I hate him." I muttered, referring to dad.

"You don't. You're just mad, and I get that." Marie-Claire said hugging me gently.

I stood and let her hold onto me for a second.

"We should get down to Zosia. I'm sure she's want you there when she wakes up" Marie-Claire said to me.

"I'm not so sure." I laughed. It was either laugh or cry and I was drained from all the crying the last couple of days.

I slowly wandered down to the side room on AAU where my sister was.

When I walked in the room, Zosia's psychiatric doctor was just leaving.

Zosia was still asleep when I walked in the room. Jac and dad were stood at the foot of her bed. I glared at them both.

I went and picked up the folder in the hold at the end of Zosia's bed. I pretended to know what I was doing. I read her notes, most of it didn't make sense to me, but I did manage to gather that she had been given some more sedation and a high dose of her bipolar medication to balance her mood out.

I walked around dad and Jac and sat down in the chair next to Zosia's bedside and took her hand. I sat there playing with her fingers for a couple of minutes.

We were all around Zosia's bed. I was sat in a chair on the left, by the window, holding onto Zosia's hand. Dad and Jac were stood on the other side of the bed at the bottom with their arms around each other's waists.

I started to get tired, so I laid my head down on the bed...


End file.
